After starting the year on fire, the Yankees have cooled tremendously recently. They no longer hold the best record in the American League. The team has lost 11 of their last 13, and fans are so disappointed in their Bronx Bombers that I wouldn’t be shocked if the team’s subreddit morphs back into a fan page exclusively for Yankee Candles like it did in 2020.
While Judge has continued to rake the month of August, fans are tuned out, focusing on other, more novel worries of life while attending the games. On Tuesday, they were worried about their hair.
As the Yankees trailed 3-1 in the eighth to their division rival, the Tampa Bay Rays — which wound up being the final score of the game as well — the broadcast cameras turned to catch a fan, spray bottle and comb in hand, putting the finishing touches on what looked to be a pretty decent new do. I’ve never been a long hair guy myself, but I’ll be damned, that cut looked pretty sweet.
That said, would you trust a guy in a Mac Miller T-shirt at a Yankees game to give you a cut? This is baseball. Who knows how many $20 beers that man has already downed? You have to presume he was offering the works, right? He had a full sheet ready to drape over his customers. If he’s going that far, he’s definitely got to have a pair of scissors at that point, and since scissors aren’t allowed at most ballparks, he most definitely snuck those in. That’s pretty shady.
Obviously, this is all based on the assumption that he was using scissors at all. If he wasn’t, good for him I guess, but why would anyone pay for a haircut using only a spray bottle and comb? Maybe he was just styling the dude’s hair? But unless he had a bunch of other tools (all of which would have to have no chance of potentially being used in a malicious manner), that’s still a weak styling session. Why would anybody pay for that?
I will say it is fitting that the Yankees had a barbershop in the stands given that they force their players to shave their facial hair all the time. Perhaps he was putting himself out there as a potential barber for the Yankees players themselves moving forward.
Sure, the players may not have noticed him cutting hair from the field, but other major online sites have written about this guy now. Hell, even I’m playing into his marketing ploy and writing about him. Odds are, the tale of the Bronx Barber will make it to the Yankees’ front office, and if it goes viral enough, they’ll invite him back and make a whole spectacle out of it. Maybe they’ll even allow him to use scissors and clippers this time. Lord knows the Yankees need something to keep fans invested in the regular season.
The Yankees finished their series with the Rays last night, but still have six consecutive games at home before their next ten-game road trip. If the team knows what’s good for them, they’ll set up a chair behind home plate so that fans can have the best view in the house while getting trimmed up. Would it be an obvious publicity stunt designed to rake in on a meme? Absolutely. Would people still buy in for shits and giggles? You know it! So, go on Yankees, do it! What have you got to lose?