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So Woke I’d Rather Choke

After months of avoiding the highest grossing Warner Bros film of all time a screener landed in my inbox and I bit my lip and pressed play. Here’s my Barbie review.


60 minutes into Barbie and I’m scratching my head as to what the film is about as so far absolutely nothing of note has happened other than Barbie saying ‘hello Barbie’ to other Barbies in Barbie World over and over and a flimsy plot of Barbie heading into the real world to find the girl who’s playing with her.

The reason for this is that Barbie is having a bit of a crisis with strange thoughts as her real world owner and her own mindset are becoming one.

Greta Gerwig along with the scriptwriters are so hell bent on driving home their woke politics that the premise of Barbie and all the positivity this story could drive is scrapped.

Barbie Review

The 4 seconds of footage showcasing that Barbie has inspired young people to become whatever they want to be is quite empowering but instead of focusing on the benefits the film drives home how men are evil sexual predators who control the world and trample on women wherever they go.

Mattel in the movie is run by while males and in the real world Barbie is subjected to sexual advances and more. 

I’d be ignorant to say this wasn’t a reflection of modern society to a degree and I feel as though as a male writing this I can’t ever (nor would I ever) comment on how a woman is treated in this world. I am not one and therefore have no idea about what it’s like to be one.

Barbie Rollerskates

But whilst I cannot comment on that particular angle I find spending a whole movie driving home that point turns Barbie into a rant and rave of the real world from Greta and the scriptwriters.

There’s so many angles the film could have gone down but instead Barbie as a character is underdeveloped, the plots are so flimsy they bounce off into no mans land and instead we have a woke rant from start to finish.

Of course Barbie was going to do well at the box office, women across the world flooding to indulge in nostalgia but I don’t think even Warner Brothers estimated this kind of box office success but seeing the film for what it is, it certainly isn’t making all of this money from being a good film. It’s making money from luring in that nostalgic angle.

Margot Robbie Barbie

Attention to detail is key in Barbie as there are so many easter eggs for Barbie fans. Costume and set design is quite staggering in Barbie Land and the attention to detail is a love letter to Barbie fans across the world.

But whilst aesthetically pleasing there’s not one single character in the entire film that is likeable. Barbie is a self obsessed bimbo who treats Ken like a burden to her and her life and Ken himself is a borderline stalker at this point with the emotional range of a tear soaked tissue.

The girl in the real world who’s linked to Barbie is about the most intolerable tween you could think of where bad parenting has left an ignorant little b**ch running riot in the real world with a bad attitude and lack of respect for anyone around her.

Ken Barbie

So steeped in agenda Barbie never gets its feet off the ground.

A Barbie film that certainly takes a look at the real world and trashes Barbie at the same time is quite a bold move but for me it doesn’t pay off.

Greta seems to swim in her own narcissism with this one where it feels like it should be a near 2 hour political and social commentary.

Films are meant to be fun and constantly ramming your agenda down our throats will never be an enjoyable experience.

Another Ken Barbie

Let’s just break down the entire message that this film is trying to convey.

In Barbie, the doll is shown as a figure of unrealistic self-image, consumerism and capitalism.

Men are pigs who objectify women whilst women hate women and men hate women.

Alan Barbie

Men are also toxic. All men.

Women are forced to be all things to all people.

Women can freely dismiss any male feelings to the point of emotional abuse.

The entire message screams fragility. There’s no strength and empowerment here which is where this film could have gone instead it’s trampling on men to make women feel better seems to be the theme of the day.

That’s no more or less than playground bully tactics and it’s a shame that this film went down that direction. It really is.

Barbie fails as a film but succeeds as a money maker and in this world, the real world, that’s all that matters.


It does make you wonder about the intelligence of us as a society. A world where Tik Tok is rife and quite hollow people are idolised for making YouTube videos instead of the leaders of tomorrow, scientists and scholars.

We’re becoming dumb and ignorant. We’re focusing so much on things that don’t matter that all the important things are passing us by.

It’s a sad state of affairs when our trips to the cinema start to bash on us as people. That’s not cool. 

I’m the man who clicked play on a Barbie movie hoping to see a film that would be fun, fruity and drive home a message of positivity for all. Well, you’re not going to find it here.

Well done Greta. Let’s hope you leave your ego and agenda at the stage door in your next film.

Quite simply, Barbie is a poor movie identifying as a box office success. 

Barbie Review by Sean Evans

Our Rating


So hellbent on throwing agendas and political / social commentaries down our throat Barbie becomes a chore to watch.

A positive message could have been delivered here, an inspiring one but that’s all cast aside to trample on men and the real world at every given opportunity throwing that magical escapism of film that we all know and love, right out of the window.

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